I have been avoiding my blog for several reasons. I don’t know quite what to say or how to say it. I have been overwhelmed with dealing with life. And I am so tired.
But here is a painfully honest look at what is going on:
I have separated from Matthew. He has been an emotionally abusive alcoholic for quite some time, and then Wednesday the 13th I discovered that he has been lying constantly to me, had been abusing prescription drugs until late 2009, is a severe kleptomaniac, and has been keeping stashes of horrible pornography.
I finally fully realized what an unsafe environment it was for me and Oliver and made the decision to leave. My family and some very dear friends stepped up to help me move all of my belongings into my parents house over the coarse of that weekend. I am not rushing into a divorce though. At first I wanted to get one immediately, wash my hands of everything, and move on with life, but I am giving things time to settle before making any big decisions.
I have almost no money so I am trying to figure out a way to make an income to support myself and Oliver. If I could get my Etsy shop rolling as well as it was at the beginning of the year, I would be set, but I may have to find a job outside the house. It kills me to think about being away from Oliver all day, but I know many single parents go through the same thing.
I have not seen Matthew at all and the only contact I have with him is through emails he sends. He has confessed to some things, apologized, and said he is getting help. It’s hard to believe anything at this point though, and I pretty much feel like I married a stranger.
I would appreciate prayers for everyone involved with the whole situation. It’s quite a big mess that I never thought I’d be in.
I have a lot on my plate to deal with right now, but here is a look at one of my top priorities this week – getting everything unpacked, sorted, settled, or sold. My mom blogged some pictures of what their house looks like right now that I’m going to grab.
My moms bedroom (that Oliver and I have been using)
My moms craft room.
And the two car garage packed totally full except for this path out.
Today we’re taking apart my parents weight room and Oliver and I will have it has our bedroom. I’m trying to look at the silver linings of everything so I’m looking forward to having a new space to decorate. While unpacking I’m realizing how much totally awesome stuff I have collected.
I’m going to try to post Oliver’s 6 month update soon. He has been growing and changing by leaps and bounds 🙂