I finally did it. I FINALLY cooked the 21 lb turkey that has been thawing in my fridge for a week.

The entire time it cooked I pictured my former vegetarian self, and this guy from the zoo, scowling at me in judgment.

And not only was I NOT in the mood to deal with cooking a giant bird this morning, I especially wasn’t in the mood to pull out the insides. That weren’t in a bag. And without gloves.

That’s right. Just a giant turkey neck lurking inside. And I swear to you – I. did. not. see. anything. else.

And I looked pretty good! Then later on I found out…I had done it again.

I left in the bag o’ stuff.

After my last experience, I thought it could never happened again, but the whole turkey-neck-without-a-bag threw me off, and I really just wanted to get that sucker in the oven as quickly as possible without having to search all it’s inner crevices.

Sadly, after getting it in the oven, my relief to be done with the nasty part was short lived. I decided I needed a little liquid refreshment so I went to the fridge, grabbed the carton of OJ, and brought it to my lips (that’s one of the good things about leaving your parents house – YOU CAN DRINK FROM THE CARTON AT LAST!)

I realized two seconds too late that this liquid in my mouth was thick and silky, not fruity and pulpy.

Yes, I was now chugging a carton of half & half.

Apparently I didn’t look AT ALL when I blindly gasped the nearest carton in the fridge and they are both the exact same size.

Anyway, it was not a fun experience. And certainly not “refreshing”…or healthy for that matter.

But alas, after more than 5 hours the turkey is done and I can honestly say it is the best tasting one I’ve ever had. I’ll tell you my secret along with some pictures tomorrow.

In the meantime, here is what Matthew looks like when we shop at Super Target

And this is how we would both like him to dress:


My Matthew by meganlee

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